My2¢: The Perils of Driving my Spouse’s SUV

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Whenever hubby’s away, I drive his car. It’s easier to park and zip around and especially now, it handles much better in the snow than my vehicle.

I drive a 2005 minivan, V6 engine, with reversing sensor alarm, remote controlled sliding doors, lots of room inside.

My husband drives a smaller but much newer SUV, all-wheel drive, turbo 4-cylinder (not as fast as V6, in my opinion), but with all the trimmings of that model – sun roof, viewing screen for reversing, low-profile tires, Bluetooth audio.

But ever so often, I forget that I’m not in the comfort of my Minivan when I’m behind the wheel of the SUV. So when I get into hubby’s vehicle I need to keep these things in mind.

Jumping Citroen

  • When I get into his car, I must remember that 9:30 am on the clock there really is 9:30 am! The clock in my van is always 40 minutes fast so 9:30 am is not even 9:00 am in real time yet. No wonder my boss has been giving me the evil eye when I get to work in the mornings, when I saunter in at 10:00 o’clock.

  • My phone is already connected to the Bluetooth audio in the SUV and once I’m in range, the last podcast or song I was listening to will automatically start playing. So I need to remember that before I turn on the engine, switch off from “Sex Nerd Sandra” when I go to pick up the kids from their after school program, because that is definitely not the time for “Anal Safety 101” to start playing out loud.

  • Over the past several years, I’ve gotten used to hearing the “beep-beep-beep” of the minivan’s sensor if I’m reversing and getting closer to another object. This vehicle doesn’t have a warning sound. So, sorry, neighbor! I didn’t know your new fence was there. Oh, and sorry, hon, for the scratch on the fender…don’t know how it got there…

  • On his extended trips away, I need to remember to drive the minivan and not the SUV when going to Costco. After fitting cases of water, juice, sanitary napkins, Ziploc bags, meats, fish, rice, pasta, cereal, snacks, etc, etc, etc, in the trunk, there was no where for the very large packages of Bounty Paper Towels, Paper Napkins, Charmin Mega-size toilet rolls, Kleenex facial tissues, Tide Detergent,  to go…except on top of the children in the back seat. Sorry, kids. It’s only a 20 minute ride home.

  • One of the best features of my minivan is the ability to remotely open the rear door. So imagine my frustration when, leaving Stop n Shop with a full shopping cart in the midst of a downpour, there was no button on the remote to press to open the rear door of the SUV. First, I had to find the right button on the remote to unlock the doors, fumble around to manually open the trunk, and then throw the bags in an already small space. Soaking wet!

Still, it’s not a bad ride. I might not appreciate slamming my ankle onto the very high edge of the running board every effin’ time I step into the vehicle, but I do appreciate the all-wheel drive. Now back to Sex-Nerd Sandra…

Categories: humor, MyTwoCents

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6 replies

  1. I have a hard time when going from my 4×4 pick up truck to the hubby’s Mini. While the Mini is really fun to drive (zoom zoom), I forget that the speed bumps in the complex, the pot holes in the highway, and the dip pulling in and out of works parking lot, all need to be taken much slower in the mini for it will bottom out when it won’t in my truck.

    I’ve been lucky on the Costco trips however, the Mini actually holds a whole lot more than it looks like it will.

    Funny read by the way. Kept me giggling all the way through.


    • Haha! Thanks! I love a Mini! But yes, big difference when you’re so much closer to the ground 🙂 I like the new 4-door ones too.

      As far as space goes with the minivan, I guess the difference really is in throwing everything in rather than packing it nicely in a smaller vehicle. I have to remember not to buy all the bulky items at the same time if using the smaller vehicle, though 🙂


  2. Wow!
    Sex Nerd Sandra? Gotta look into that one. It’s just never enough, is it? I love my SUV, which is pretty basic, my husband’s; however, has keyless entry, rear camera, Bluetooth, sun/moon roof, etc. and I love it. He actually offered it to me and I declined (stubborn mule), now that he’s fallen in love with it, how do I revisit the subject of switching? I really really want it, AND he’s not using the wonderful features at his disposal.


  3. This was a fun way to start my weekend, thank you! I understand now why being at work on time is troubling for you…I actually have the same thing sort of: I always leave my clock running one hour ahead of time. It just makes the day seem so much longer;)


    • You’re welcome! I have this thing with time..I’m always running out of it! So my bathroom clock is 15 minutes fast and even when I change the time for Daylight Savings Time (yeah, we still do that here) I make sure it remains 15 minutes fast. The clock in my van is also fast. It started at 5 minutes and it has very much steadily gone faster and faster on its own as the years pass. Now I just keep it at 40 minutes. That drives my husband crazy, but he almost never drives it so it doesn’t really matter.


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